There's a problem in this country of epidemic proportions and if we don't do something about it soon, I fear we could become a silent nation. Yes, of course, you know I'm talking about our reliance on texting.
When did we stop talking to one another? OMFG, I was in a room with some college students the other day. I swear they were no more than fifteen feet apart from one another and all they did was work their little fingers. No one said a word, just an occasional smirk. I was puzzled and looked around to see if Rod Serling was standing in the corner (in black and white, of course) smoking a cigarette. What's happened to us? What's next, texting parties? Everyone comes, sits around, drinks beer and texts. The first person to actually slip and say something, has to eat the worm in the tequila bottle.
JTLYK, Playskool now has make believe phones that are suitable for one year olds to hone in on their texting skills. Even toymakers don't want us to talk anymore! Our verbal communication skills are becoming extinct. SUX. On the other hand, maybe it's best that some people don't speak. I'm sure our most recent former President's approval numbers would have been much higher if he never uttered a word.
I decided to dip my toes in the texting pool myself and, although I still prefer the old fashioned method of actually speaking words, I discovered that texting is a great way to deliver bad news. Cowards, like me, can be much more bold while texting than we could ever dream of being on the phone. For instance, Sheila's owed me money for about two years now. On the phone, I might wither and say, "Hey Sheila, umm, did I loan you money once? Oh, maybe not. Nevermind. Sorry." However, that same conversation done via text message would read, "Hey, Sheila, you owe me two hundred bucks. With two years interest, it's closer to three hundred. AYSOS? Hop to it and by the way, everyone knows your boobs are way fake."
Professional texters add that it's also easier than picking up the phone because it gives them a chance to edit their thoughts, something that is harder to do in a verbal communication. For instance, if facing the ugly situation of actually having to talk to someone, in your haste, you might say something inappropriate. "Cecelia, come over now. Hormones are raging! Hurry!" However, in a texting situation, you would have time to temper that thought and approach it in a much more calm and mature manner, like, "Cecelia, how about a movie sometime and then we can come back and rock the stuffing out of my new mattress?" BTYCL.
In a recent survey, men between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five were asked what item they would most like to have with them if stranded on a desert island and the results are as follows:
A) Girlfriend (8%%)
B) Underwear (2%)
C) Bong (10%)
D) Cellphone (80%)
I guess the theory is that as long as you have texting abilities, you can always keep in touch with your girlfriend and, for that matter, there's nothing preventing her from sending you pictures of your underwear. Kind of a no-brainer.
HFAC, I just realized that all the while you were reading this, you probably haven't done any texting at all. I better let you get back to your little keyboard and remember, THT and TTYS.
No comments:
Post a Comment